A Kiss on the Wind

Sign said, “Welcome to Ohio,”
Looking at Detroit in my rearview mirror,
I said, “Goodbye Daddy,”
In my mind.
But I know you heard me
Cause ur voice responded clearly,
“I love you, Nikki, baby”
And so I made my way.
I knew this time you’d travel with me,
From now on,
For the rest of my journey.
That’s what my heart say.

I saw ur hand in the clouds
Over the cornfields in Iowa.
Reached out to touch you,
But the distance was too great.
So I just watched as you followed.
I found you somewhere new
In each and every state.
Funny how your homecoming brought about mine.
Now I mourn all that was lost.
Still there’s no way it could have been different.
Suppressed grief now at surface.
Love forgotten now rekindled,
Transcending life and death matters.
Time and space nonexistent.
Dormant memories flooding back
In a moment’s span.
Relationships severed at the root
Show signs of life,
Like reawakened trees at the touch of Swan’s hand.

So many things still needed to be discussed.
Damn, perceptions are so powerful and pervasive.
Out of alignment.
Divergent.
Conflicting.
There was hers.
Yours.
And then,
What I thought I believed.
Now there is no truth,
Aside from what I decide it to be.

Forgive me, for forgetting:
You love me.
I love you too.
Even if,
Past the age of 3,
I never told you
Anymore.
I remember now exactly who you are.
It was just so hard for me before.
Cause you were murdered so long ago,
Along with your memory.
Half of me got killed then, too, right along with you.
So I wouldn’t know….
But not everything died.
Whether I knew it or not, you did.
The remnants remain.
Intact.
I can see now,
How we’re the same.

As the sun shines thru the moonroof.
Covering my skin,
I feel the warmth of your embrace
From 20 years past,
My face raised to you.
Tears in my closed eyes.
Knowing that phone conversation,
On this plane at least,
Is to be our last.
Now I’ll meet you in my dreams
And memories.
Ever present & watchful,
As my senses connect me with you.
In a way I previously never conceived.

I’ll honor you,
With the remainder of my breaths.
Now I recognize the beauty of Dove.
The symbolic representation
Of peace and love.
The image will be internalized.
Reincorporated into my life.
And without a single teardrop,
Etched across my flesh,
Imprinted, so as to never forget.
Thank you.
Because
I’m a dichotomy.
Polarity in the form of divine woman,
Fused into a perpetual homeostasis.
Good versus evil.
Beauty versus ugliness.
Love versus hate.
Empathy versus apathy.
Light versus darkness.
Encompassing All and
Everything in between.
You’ve provided so much clarity,
Now I see no less.
I sing,
“Keep Moooooovin’ On”
To you, Daddy.
This time,
Follow me as I progress.
Like a big girl, I stand up tall
And wipe my tears.
Then, blow you a good-bye kiss.

8/16/08

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~ by butrfly on December 13, 2009.

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